


I can't see you

by HeichouTheTitan



Category: Naruto
Genre: And less selfcentered, Angst, Blind!Sasuke, Blindness, Caretaking!Naruto, Comfort, F/M, He'll get better, I just want him to suffer, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Oh my god I'm horrible, Sakura and Sai are little shits, Sick!Sasuke, Sickness, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, ugh ._.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:05:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7593895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeichouTheTitan/pseuds/HeichouTheTitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke's sight was getting worse, everything blurred and hurt and throbbed, and soon he was reduced from the proud, powerful Uchiha Heir who was set on avenging his clan and his brother, to a scared and confused weakling with no sight at all. The Hawks abandoned him, as well as the Akatsuki and Madara Uchiha. Apparently he really was nothing without his power... Right before an attempt to end his miserable life, Sasuke is found by Naruto and the rest of Team Seven. </p><p>(Remember, this is a summary as well as a prologue. Set before the fight with Danzõ.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people
> 
> I don't know why I made this. Please make me stop writing new things when I haven't finished the ones I did before them.

"I can sense his chakra nearby... We got to be quiet."

The sound of tiptoeing sandals. He clutched the kunai he held in his hand tighter, the sharp blade hovering right above the pale skin of his wrist, so close he could feel the coldness of the metal. What were _they_ doing here?! They could not see him in this state. They could not see him as the weak, pitiful _outsider_ he had become. Sasuke was no longer worthy of the name Uchiha. He was nothing but a failure, nothing but a person who could do absolutely _nothing_ to save his family and _nothing_ to avenge them and _nothing_ to stay strong as Susanoo took her right on his body, reduced his sight and strength until he was only useless.

Tears prickled his eyes, and Sasuke let out a pained breath. The sounds stopped. When the door was blown out of it's hinges, (or at least he thought so, as he couldn't see), he got to his feet, letting his chakra reach out and touch whoever was there. He may have been a coward, but he wasn't dying at the hands of someone unworthy. With unseeing eyes he glared the person down, scrunching his face up as he felt an unknown chakra signal.

"Who are you? Answer me." he said with a calm voice, ignoring the shaking of his hands as he raised the kunai towards where he felt the strongest signals.

"I found him!" the voice said, sounding unemotional and bored. Sasuke was irritated at first, then he felt three, no, four more chakra signals coming his way, and he was starting to panic as he recognized three of them. It was just as much fear for the new one who had the exact same chakra as this one, which proved that he couldn't make out that it was a clone, as it was for the three he knew. He had gotten better at sensing chakras since he lost his seeing, but apparently it wasn't enough. And when he felt that one, stupidly bright chakra he got even more terrified.

"D-don't come here! I'll kill you! Fucking dobe, don't come here! I mean it!"

He wished he could activate his sharingan and help himself. He wished he could at least see them as they ran through the busted door. He wished he wasn't such a fucking mess.

"Sasuke!" a voice behind him hollered happily, and he quickly turned around, confused as to why it wasn't coming from the door. The other chakra signals were right beside his, and it was making clear that the entity of Team Seven was finally assembled. The clone disappeared, and Sasuke shuddered as he felt the cold chakra brush right past his own. He glared in the direction he thought the stupid dobe was in.

"Go away!"

He held the kunai as if he knew where to throw it, a stuttering breath leaving his chest as warning right before he started to cough. It was rossling in his lungs, that stupid sickness. He should have known better. He should have known not to use Susanoo. Hell, she was a forbidden jutsu for a reason, right? He should have fucking known. Sasuke put his hand to his mouth, dropping the kunai to clutch the other at his chest as pain wrecked his chest, and he closed his eyes as his face scrunched up in pain. After a few coughs he forced himself to stop, weak breaths as he took his hand away from his face and pointedly ignored the gooey red liquid he knew must have gathered on his fingers. He kept his eyes closed.

"I'll kill you! Leave, for fucks sake!" The words were weak in comparison with before, and inwardly he cringed and apologized to his ancestors. An Uchiha was supposed to be strong, not show weakness or pain or emotion. 

"Sasuke...? You're sick." Sakura said, her soft voice coming from his left. He whipped his head towards her, eyes involuntary opening in a desperate try to see her. She gasped. 

Sasuke cursed.

"Your eyes..." this time it was another voice, a darker, more adult one coming from behind Sakura's fruitless attempts at not crying. Sasuke rolled his eyes at her before looking towards where he thought his former sensei was standing.

Oh how he hated this darkness.

"Very observational of you, Kakashi. I have eyes."

Suddenly there was a flash of chakra nearby, bright and warm, and very angry. Sasuke felt his eyes go wide as he spun around, trying to pinpoint the person that was, for once, silent. He felt himself making a worried expression, and he put his arms around himself in a childish manner, very unbecoming of an Uchiha, and glared at his toes. Or, well. At the darkness where his toes should be.

"I don't want you here. Get the hell out."

He was hungry. And tired, of course. He hadn't slept for many hours, often waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares and fever dreams about his fight with his brother. He was still bitter with himself for killing him. And now there were people from Sasuke's past, pestering him and pitying him and probably laughing at his expense, about his thin limbs and idiotic manners. He hated them. He hated everything. And oh god, why weren't they listening to him?!

"It's not as if I can't notice you fucking chakra signals. Leave! Stop-" another coughing fit. It felt as if his lungs were trying to crawl up his throat, or at least had gotten loose from their place and were rattling around in there. He put his hand over his mouth again, coughing until he was too tired to continue. Coughing until there were tears in his eyes. Coughing until the blood seeped through his fingers for the others to see. 

It was so hot. So, so unbelievably hot. Sasuke shuddered and let out a pained whine before he could regain his bearings. Finally, Naruto spoke.

"Temme, come with us. We'll help you, okay?"

Sasuke grit his teeth and opened his eyes to glare in the direction of the voice, and he took a step towards him, opening his mouth to tell him off. But instead he wobbled, legs shaky and unsteady, and then there there were arms around him, all too familiar and all too nice.

For the first time since that day, he felt safe. He closed his eyes and mumbled something gibberish.

"What?"

"Thanks..."

He felt his conscious slip away from his grip, and when he heard the words "Well, you seem like you goddamn need it" he smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho ho ho, he's suffering :o) :o) :o) Me likey. 
> 
> But... he's suffering...
> 
> I gotta make this up to him later, don't I?


	2. Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke's memory is failing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My WaLLs I just realized that Sasuke's name has the word UKE in it. 
> 
> ;)

When he opened his eyes there was only darkness. For a moment the young man was calm, collected, convinced that the dark was only caused by a broken lamp or a blown out candle, but all too soon he felt the weakness in his limbs, the pain in his chest and the soft material underneath him. Sasuke knew something was wrong. He hadn't slept on either bed or futon since he killed Orochimaru, and hadn't planned on doing so either. It shrunk the alertness, made him feel all too comfortable and sleepy. 

He closed his eyes again, realizing having them open made no difference. For all he knew, the entire room could be filled with light. He couldn't experience it anyway.

The Uchiha tried to turn, his body stiff and and hurting on the one side he was laying on, but as he did so hot, searing pain ground his ribs against one another, making him wince and whine, breath going shallow as he scowled into the darkness around him. It hurt badly, almost like the many experiments of the Snake Summoner, almost like the heavy rock that weighted down his chest every time he thought about Konoha and their traitorous Elders. Sasuke clenched his fingers and bit his lip, drawing precious Uchiha blood and spilling a few droplets of the dark liquid onto the white sheets of his bed. Because he knew this was a bed, now. It creaked and moved and felt utterly comfortable. (Not that he would ever admit such a thing.)

His chakra supply was weak, and already straining. He had never felt this weak, and he seriously doubted that he had enough to even summon the smallest of falcons, or send out some chakra to survey the room. He was at a new place, maybe even days from where he last remembered being. The chilly underground base had been nice when his body heated, but when he had been cold it was pure torture. Sasuke shivered at the mere thought.

There was a sudden sound, the door to the room opening and the hammering of shinobi sandals against wooden floors. Sasuke turned towards the sound, opening his eyes to glare in the general direction of the intrusion. He did however not dignify the person(s?) with sentence. It was below him, and even if Sasuke was a failure he were, first and foremost, an Uchiha. Always. Forever.

Too bad he was worthless.

"TEMME!" ,Naruto's cheery-as-all-hell voice echoed in his eardrums. The young Uchiha winced, and, without his conscious consent, put a hand over his ear, grimacing. The loose hospital gown he was wearing slid down a bit from his wrist, he felt, and a gust of air coldly traced the scarred skin. He hurried to put his hand back in his lap, then gave the boy another glare. Not feeling his rival's chakra unnerved him a bit.

"Do you not have any manners?" he said, voice hoarse and cracked.

He could practically choke on the pure happiness the jinchuuriki let out in the air directly after he said it. If he tried, he could probably recall that stupid smile, tan lips stretching over white teeth and eyes crinkling up a little in the corners, that blonde hair ruffled from the wind and- Sasuke forbid himself to think any further. 

"Temme, you're awake! Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I am." 

Actually, he wasn't. He had no memory of getting wherever this was, nor meeting Naruto in a state worse than this. It crawled underneath his skin, and he demanded answers, real, tangible answers that he could smell and touch and _feel_. But he couldn't ask. He just couldn't. As questions swam around in his head he felt the bed dip and creak a little under new weight, making him uncomfortable and sick in many different ways.

"Dobe, what the fuck are you doing?"

A hand to his chest, Naruto looked overly hurt. Not that Sasuke noticed.

"Aw, Sasuke! I've waited like, so long for you to come home. And you can't even let me sit on your bed? I'm hurt."

The Uchiha rolled his unseeing eyes and kicked out a leg. It hit something soft, and he heard a pained yelp as Naruto fell to the floor. He smiled, for a fleeting moment, in victory. He ignored the pain in his legs and focused on the information the dobe had given him. 

"So I am located in Konoha?" he said quietly, a shiver racing through his spine in anticipation. He was here. Now all he needed to do was get to Danzõ and the Elders. Sasuke felt something light up inside him, something worried and reluctant, but he quickly squashed it. He was so close to avenging his family. So close. Feelings could not get in the way.

"Uhh... Please don't tell the Hokage I said that."

Sasuke scrunched his nose. Of course he wouldn't. He hated that man, or woman, with all of his heart. They were nothing but trouble and stupid, self satisfied bastards. They had forced his brother, his _brother_ , to do terrible things against his own family. He had been forced to kill his friends and loved ones and traumatize his Outouto, all because of Konoha. The young Uchiha frowned and put a hand to his arm. Goosebumps littered the thin, pale limbs, and he shivered as yet another cool wind traveled through the room.

There was sounds of footsteps going away from the bed, then of something creaking and slamming shut. The window that had let fresh air into the room was closed. The footsteps came back.

"Can I ask you something, Sasuke?" Naruto said with a kind of sad voice. Sasuke raised an eyebrow before answering.

"No."

And, of course, his answer was ignored.

"Why would you hurt yourself?"

The black haired boy stiffened at the question, not quite expecting such a serious question. And how the hell did Naruto know about his wounds and what had inflicted them?! He was at loss, not only with his sight but also at understanding the other's right forwardness. He guessed he hadn't covered the scars like he should, but- Then the real meaning of the question settled. 

Why?

"I would never do such a thing."

Because he was worthless. A failure. Weak. Not good enough. Never good enough. Never.

"Sasuke-"  
  
"I said that I would never do such a thing! God! What is wrong with you?!"

He glared in the boy's direction, letting all his stray anger into the glare. Then he once again closed his eyes, havin unconsciously opened them again, and leaned back against the awfully comfortable pillow.

"I'm going to rest now. Get out, idiot."

"Alright. Sleep well."

Footsteps went for the door, stopped for a second, and then continued. Sasuke didn't let himself move until he'd heard the door close and the footsteps echo in the hallway. Then he put an arm over his eyes, cursing the world. He did not at all ponder over the subtle change in Naruto's voice, how it had sounded more grown and accepting. Nor did he wonder what his rival's face looked like nowadays, or think about how much he'd missed the stupid dobe and his stupid manners since he left the Leaf Village.

In the corridor of the hospital, Sakura stood in shock as she listened to the subtle sobs coming from the door to the left. She shook her head after a minute, walking off to take care of her other patients. Sasuke might need some time to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sing song voice* I have no idea what I am doing!


	3. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto wont leave Sasuke alone and the Uchiha might actually kill someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!!!
> 
> No but I just really have to thank you guys for being so positive and nice about all this. To be honest this is the only fic I'm pretty sure I haven't planned, which'll probably make it a little weird... But you like it? SO WHATEVER I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS
> 
> Thanks, anyway, you wonderful shippers out there.

Sasuke was getting tired of being sick. People pampered him, talked to him and annoyed the hell out of him all the time, always waking him up for check ups or talking for hours about what had happened in the village since he'd went away. Sakura had helped him with his chakra sensing, and for that he was thankful. But having a certain jinchuuriki up your ear all day was getting sickening. Now he could even _smell_ the mix of ramen, sweat and raw chakra that his former friend was. Or, friend, if you asked Naruto.

"- and the frogs' food is seriously gross! Like, it's larvae and centipedes and all others kind of insects... Once they even forced me to eat a spider! Like, yuck!"

The other boy was currently splayed across his feet, using the fact that Sasuke was forced to lay still to his advantage. The Uchiha rolled his eyes and sighed every now and then, mostly trying to block the idiot's babbling out so he could think. But somehow he always nestled his way back into his eardrums with his annoyingly loud voice. 

He didn't like how casual Naruto was around him. Not after all that had happened, not after hurting him and threatening him and making him chase after Sasuke for years in the hope that they one day could go home together. Well, now here they were. Sasuke being the hateful weakling that he was, and the usuratonkachi fully content with having his long lost teammate back.

The Uchiha wanted to hate him for that.

"-It was really cool! I can't tell you about how we did it though, both Kakashi and Sakura forbid me, but it was like one guy that sat in- No wait, he was like stuck in a thing, and there was a lady made of paper right next to him, too, and she-"

Sasuke held a hand up to silence him, then stared down at the warmth on his legs. The annoying warmth. ~~Hi's feet was warm thanks to him. It felt nice~~.

"Could you shut up for a second? God, you're annoying."

There was a unhappy grunt at that, and some movements on his legs. Sasuke grit his teeth as he felt Naruto's legs shift against his own sensitive, bare skin. It frustrated him that the blond never seemed to realize how painful normal, everyday things were for him now. Not that he wanted the other boy to coddle him or anything, he was an Uchiha after all, but a little understanding would have been nice. 

"But otherwise we can't catch up on each other, dumbass! You're not saying anything, so then I will."

Sasuke took a slow breath and pinched his nose with one hand. He closed eyes and wished desperately for something, someone, god help, to find them and interrupt this moron's idiocy. Letting a small amount of chakra out to survey the room, (not much, as even the simplest of jutsus emptied his resources), he found nothing of help, and even as he strained his ears and nose he could find nothing unusual. 

"Maybe I just don't want to talk."

"Maybe then you should just shut up and let me do it instead."

"Maybe I want to fucking sleep, and I can't do that with your _insufferable_ voice in my ears all day."

"Does this face looks like it cares, temme?"

The Uchiha opened his mouth to retort, but quickly shut it. Then he glared into the darkness where he knew Naruto was. The other boy had stiffened, draped over his legs as he was, probably red faced and horrified over his choice of words, and inside Sasuke smirked. 

"Well, it is hard to look at your face now that I'm blind." he said with a purposely tired voice as he slumped back into the pillow.

"Shit I didn't mean it like that, temme, I just- Fuck, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean-"

"Whatever."

"Sasukeee..."

After a while of bickering, a sudden thought struck him out of nowhere, and Sasuke couldn't help himself. 

"Can I touch your face?"

He heard a small gasp from the jinchuuriki, and furrowed his brows as he figured out the other's line of thoughts.

"I'm not implying anything, I just want to know what you look like, shithead."

Actually he knew what Naruto looked like. He had seen him when he was at Orochimaru's care, and the stupid dobe always followed him in his dreams. The good ones, that will say. But he wanted to know that something was actually _real_ for once, not just fleeting words and figments of imagination. The black haired boy was so tired of the darkness, and he desperately wanted to see, to know, to touch with his eyes, to let his gaze travel over words and faces and landscapes just as they used to. 

Susanoo had taken that from him. But he could at least try. He owed Itachi that much.

There was silence for a moment, and then there was a small "Fine" coming from the other boy. Sasuke raised his hands, and suddenly he felt nervous. What if Naruto wasn't real? What if this was a feverous, delirious dream and he was still in the base, so far from his goals and so far from his mind? He furrowed his brows and willed his hands further, despite his momental weakness.

The sensitive tips of his fingers was met with soft, warm skin and movements underneath. He could feel a pulse and exactly how Naruto's jaw clenched a little, as if he didn't really know what to do with himself. He suppressed a smile and let his hands travel from the other's cheekbones, down to his cheek where he could feel those whisker-like marks standing out a little against the the soft skin, and even further until he could feel his thumbs brush against his lips. Sasuke felt his cheeks heat up a little despite himself, and once again furrowed the eyebrows he didn't even know had smoothed out. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could fill the contours with colors and shadows and light.

Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could gather the courage to lean forward and press his lips-

Sasuke let go of Naruto as if he'd burnt himself when he heard the whooshing sound of the door flying open, and he cursed the blush that was making it's way onto his face. He smelt the strawberries, bandage and silk that was Sakura, and the ink, paper and kunai steel that was Sai.

"Hello, Naruto-kun. Sasuke-kun." someone said with an emotionless tone, and Sasuke felt irritation flare up just by hearing his voice. God, he hated the boy with the drawings. Just as much for his talent, which he would never see, as for his stupid ways of trying to come up with nicknames and games. (He'd actually called him 'Scarecrow'. Sasuke had pointed out that his name meant exactly that. He and Naruto had gotten into a fight about sensitivity, which had ended with Sasuke coughing his lungs out and Sakura shooing the other two out of the room.)

He pointedly ignored the fourth member of team seven, nodding towards Sakura.

"Were you two kissing?"

Sakura made a sound as if forcing herself not to laugh, and Sasuke spluttered, cheeks sealing his fate as a tomato. 

"I was touching his face, you nitwit! I'm going to fucking kill you, you idiotic-" Sasuke started to try and pry himself away from under Naruto's back, gritting his teeth together as he heard the crunching of bones and felt the pain from his ankles. Sakura swiftly went up and smacked him across the head, then forcibly forced him to lay back as she tucked the blanket around him again. He wriggled out of it.

For all that was good, he was _not_ a child.

There was a slightly awkward sound coming from the former ROOT agent, and Sasuke glared in his direction.

"I'm sorry. Was that something inappropriate to bring up?"

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow.

"Um, no? We weren't kissing. I was touching his face because I can't see, if you have noticed."  
  
"Yes I have, actually. There is a grayish hue to your eyes, which I knew were black from the start. That is a common sign for blindness."

He closed his eyes, sighing. How ignorant could one being be of social interactions? Sasuke was starting to suspect that this was going to be a long day.

"Oh, and Sasuke!" Sakura suddenly said, "The Hokage would like to meet you."

He had been right in his suspicions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wants to hit Sasuke with a broom for being so insensitive.
> 
> But he's still sick so we'll wait with that.


	4. Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke wants to sleep but the people wont let him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the last chapter sucked monkey- You know what, let's keep those words inside my head.
> 
> I'll try to do better this time! After all, I've always been better at starting things than I am to finish them.

"Why on earth would the Hokage want to meet me?" he said with a tired voice. He did not have the time, nor the energy to deal with any soon-to-be dead men. He was recovering from a severe sickness, for gods sake, and Sakura of all people knew that. The Uchiha was tired to the bone by now, his patience wearing thin and irritation growing. First he had to listen to the idiot's stupid stories, then he had to meet more people, and, worst of all, the person who had the title that was responsible for the death of his clan?! Sasuke would rather hang himself.

"It is probably because of your sunny personality." Sai helpfully shot in, the asshole. There was a brief moment of small shock as Sasuke's former teammates processed the sarcastic statement that had come from the artist.

"Sai," Naruto said slowly, the jinchuuriki sounding almost like a proud parent on the verge of tears, " was that sarcasm?"

There was a silent moment in which Sasuke guessed a smile was shared between the three, and then there was the sound of palms hitting palms in a high five. Not being able to determine wether or not things was surely as they were frustrated him sometimes, as he wanted to know exactly what was going on around him. The lost of his sight was his biggest regret. The others fussed over Sai's progress for some time, and the Uchiha waited patiently for them to be done. It did not make him feel downcast in the slightest that he was excluded from the others' conversation, as he was an Uchiha. With that name came pride without boundaries. ~~He just had to get better.~~

He distracted himself with handseals, knowing full well that he was unable to actually use them for something with his chakra being so weak.

_Bear, fish, rooster, snake._

Why was this happening? How come the authorities had not yet euthanized him, or at least imprisoned him? It was unthoughtful, not like Konoha at all.

_Tiger, ram, cow, butterfly._

Surely there had to be a reason. Sasuke knew that he was considered a dangerous criminal, a young boy who had strived for revenge and lost his mind in the process. He furrowed his brows. He did not care. The mission was all he had left, now that Itachi was dead. _Death_. The word tasted bitter in his mouth.

_Horse, dog, monkey, bird._

No one could possibly understand why he had to do this. He was the only one left, the only one who actually could do anything about it. Hatred was the only thing that gave him a purpose, and revenge was the very blood in his veins. 

_Dragon, crab, fox, cat, rabbi-_

He stopped his hands from moving in the middle of a seal. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. Outsiders knew nothing, and yet he was surrounded by nothing but them. He sighed and turned his attention back to the others' talk. After a few minutes he got impatient.

"Are you done?" he said, temper flaring as he got more tired. What he had said to Naruto wasn't completely untrue; He _was_ tired. 

He had quickly gotten accustomed to being near the three that made team Seven, (or as Naruto called it, "The Best Team"), as he was a shinobi of high statue with years of training. He could handle new situations.

But being in any form weak around other people made him feel on edge.

The pleasant chatter had stopped as soon as he'd talked, almost as if they just realized he was there. Sasuke decided to play the cards he was offered.

"Oh, don't mind me. Continue talking, keep the sick guy from sleeping."

There were breaths that halted for a moment, and the Uchiha felt a small stab of guilt. He quickly squashed it. 

Sasuke sighed deeply and put a hand to his chest with a small wince as he felt that stupid sickness starting to bother his lungs again.

"Just asking for some rest." he mumbled.

That was as close to an apology he could get himself. He was a proud creature after all, and if he apologized it meant that it was on that person's deathbed.

"We should leave him alone." Sakura said pointedly, and Sasuke could imagine her green eyes daring anyone to say otherwise.

"Okay." Sai said, and Sasuke could hear their combined footsteps go for the door. Naruto was not with them, but they all knew not to mention the elephant in the room. Right before exiting, however, Sakura stopped.

"Tell him a Good Night Story from us, Naruto!"

"Will do!" came the glad reply.

Sasuke simply ignored them in favor of closing his eyes, once grimacing once when the dobe started to, once again, tell him the story of Pein. 

He was lulled to sleep by his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boi
> 
> (No Hokage? Brain, wtf. And, gosh, school is going to start in a couple of days. I won't be able to update just as much, but bear with me?)


	5. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream wakes Sasuke in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY KANOODLE I JUST SAW THAT THIS FIC HAS OVER 40 KUDOS
> 
> WHAT EVEN
> 
> See that boy on the floor over there? That is me. I died. I just died and became a ghost.
> 
> *rattles chains accusingly* you did this to me

_A kiss, light like a feather and filled with love, to his forehead. Then he was pulled into a hug._

_"Moooom."_

_Her laughter sounded like the river that went right past the yard of their house._

_"Okay okay, you can play with Yuno. Just make sure that you're home by dinner! I'm making tomato soup."_

_Big, onyx eyes widened, and the boy smiled. Tomato soup! The little boy loved tomatoes. Fresh, ripe ones directly from the branch was the best, but his mother's soup was almost as good._

_"Okay mom! See you later!"_

_He looked back for a moment as he ran, seeing her face with that small smile and those eyes that were just like his. People often told him he looked like his father, and those who were of the same clan, and could see the differences between their eyes, said that he had his mothers eyes. He turned his head to the direction he was running in. Now he could show his cousin those new kunai his brother had made for him! They burned inside the leather poach at his side, chakra floating through the dead steel, and he was so excited. They were more powerful than regular kunai, Itachi had said so._

_Sasuke couldn't wait until he could do such things himself._

He opened his eyes, a pained cry almost escaping his lips as he stared into the nothingness that laid before him. Sasuke had dreamt of his mother, a memory that he had long forgotten. Her long, black hair and steel enforced eyes. When she looked on her sons, however, they softened and sometimes there were even a smile on her face. His dream had been vivid, so clear and colorful that it almost felt as it he was still running, as if it was just moments ago that he'd had his face buried in the softness of her stomach. Tears prickled his eyes, and he took a shaky breath to steady himself.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! 

The boy gritted his teeth and tried to force himself not to cry. If he'd been stronger, if he'd understood... He could have saved her. He could have made sure that she was still alive. His ignorance, his childishness... Sobs broke the silence of the room. If only he had been stronger... If only... If only...

In reality, he was just a child who wanted his mother back.

Grandpa Kuroko. Aunt Toniba. Hatsui Nee-chan. His father. He wanted them back so badly. No, _needed_. 

There was the sound of something moving, and Sasuke stiffened. Then there was a tired yawn and a gasp following it.

"Sasuke? Are you alright? Should I like, get a nurse or something?"

The Uchiha's head snapped towards the voice against his will, and he stared at the darkness where his former comrade was supposed to be. He hiccuped and reached out a hand, fumbling in the dark until another one grabbed it. He then proceeded to drag the other boy into his arms, and feeling his warmth and breathing underneath his hands was enough for him to break down again. He pressed his face into his shoulder until the smell of sweaty ramen was almost too much to bear, and cried. 

There was kind of awkward pats on his back, Naruto trying to cope with what was happening. 

"Sasuke...?"

He clenched his eyes shut and dug his fingers deeper into Naruto's arms. His breath was rasping by the time had calmed down enough to answer.

"Y-yes, dobe?"

"Why are you... Um... Crying?"

Sasuke stiffened.

"I'm not crying. I am Uchiha. Uchiha do not cry."

"Sure, whatever. You're totally crying."

"Am not."

"Am too!"

"Do you want a chidori up your ass, Uzumaki?"

There was a moment when Sasuke swore he could _feel_ Naruto's smile.

"Was that a request?"

The Uchiha refused to acknowledge his former teammate's idiocy. Instead he forced his way out of the hug and pushed Naruto to the floor for good measure. There was a satisfying thud or something heavy hitting the clay tiles, and a small yelp. Sasuke let a smile show for the fraction of a second.

"You know," Naruto said, voice muffled against the side of the bed," for being blind you have a terribly good aim."

"Maybe I just like seeing you sprawled out on the floor."

"But you can't see."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Maybe I like hearing the thud as you hit the floor."

There was laughter at that. Then the dobe got back into his chair, and Sasuke laid back down on his bed. It creaked a little, and it annoyed him. 

"Good night, Duckbutt."

The black haired boy rolled his eyes. "Usuratonkachi."

 

They didn't mention it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this chapter was no good... And short. Damnit.
> 
> and still no Hokage :o/


	6. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting with the Hokage is not pleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY
> 
> Let's watch Sasuke's mental breakdown as he meets the new Hokage :o)
> 
> And I'm sorry for late chapters, but I have two writing blocks (I simply don't know how exactly I should continue the stories) and I am rewriting A Single Dream (because it wrote it when I was unexperienced with english and it sucksss) and NOW I GOTTA GET BETTER GRADES, TOO :) I'm not stressed out at all, nopety nope.

Fingers clutched into soft fabric. Brows furrowed as legs itched and flared with pain. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to think, to concentrate on his goal instead of the burning sensation in his legs. God, how could a mere sickness render him so utterly weak? His limbs were trembling with the effort to just stay upright, and his chakra was still irregular and outright weird. He glared into the dark and squinted when he thought himself seeing a small light.

Nope, that was just his brain telling him to calm the fuck down before he passed out. _Don't get your hopes up, stupid._

Sakura sighed tiredly when he, once again, tried to walk a step. She had sounded tired all morning, and unusually stressed. Sasuke wondered what it could be about. Probably some mission gone wrong so they had extra patients or something. To be honest he didn't care, but he was still curious. ~~That didn't contradict itself _at all_.~~

"I just told you that you need to build up some muscle first. You can't walk without muscles. And don't even try using your chakra again, you remember what happened last time, Sasuke!"

He made an irritated sound in the back of his throat, turning his head to glare in the direction he assumed she was. Feeling like a liability was quite enough, she didn't have to add the fact that the last time he'd tried to stand by himself, he'd fallen ungraciously on his ass and gotten a big bruise on his thigh. He seethed on the inside. Only thinking of it made him reevaluate why he hadn't just stayed in bed. At least to spare himself the embarrassment. And another reason for Naruto to tease him.

He sighed.

"Just let me go back to the bed."

It was a while before she put his arm over her shoulder, a small "yes" confirming that they were indeed going back to the bed. After a few stumbling, painful steps he could finally sit down, an unbidden sigh of relief almost leaving his lips. They hadn't talked for a long while, at least not when they were alone. And it wasn't that there was a lack of words, it was more that they wanted to avoid one specific topic, at least for now. The Uchiha didn't want to explain his reasons for leaving the village further, and she wanted answers. He knew she would get them eventually anyway. Sakura had a way of getting what she wanted.

(Although there were things she could never achieve.)

Sasuke moved a little, the bed creaking as he made his way into the covers. The room was chilly without them, cold and calm. It irked him that he would even be in need of such trivial things as _blankets_ , but if he wanted to be restored to his former glory he had to get healthy first. Warmth, vitamins and small exercises was what the medic nin had told him was a must, along with all too much rest. He really hated that woman, sometimes.

Before he could even get fully seated [Authors Note:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]  , there was a urgent rap of knuckles against his door. He heard how Sakura's breath hitched, and then a huff of annoyance. "Come in."

The Uchiha wrinkled his nose in distaste at the foul smell that came from the open door. It smelt like preserved bodies and dark chakra, both of which reminded him of Orochimaru's many hiding spots. By the vibe he got when he let a small amount of chakra survey the room, it was anything but good. He found himself wishing for Naruto.

Wait, what?

Sasuke shook his head as if to shake it from thoughts, grumbling under his breath.

"Good day."

The voice he was met with was raspy and strong, like it was well-used and old. There was a shuffling sound and more of the foul smell wafting into his nose. The dark haired boy casually leaned back against the pillow, looking in the direction he knew Sakura was. 

"What is it?" 

She made an awkward sound in the back of her throat, but before she could answer him, the old voice spoke. Sasuke felt a twinge of irritation.

"Why, Uchiha? Shouldn't you at least ask _us_ that question?"

The voice was familiar. Every intuition and shinobi instinct Sasuke had made him want to kill the bastard in front of him. He sounded like an arrogant, unknowing outsider who knew nothing of manners nor the Uchiha clan's superiority. He might be the only one left standing, (The thought stung), but that didn't give him any right to disrespect both him and Sakura. He silently fumed. Instead of being a fool and rushing to stab the man in the face, he settled for ignoring them.

"Oi, Sakura. Tell me what it is. " 

There was a pregnant silence, and then the medic nin finally spoke.

"It's the lord Hokage Danzõ and his lifeguards."

Sasuke felt his eyes open and widen in shock. He was stunned. Danzõ, of all people, was the Hokage? What about Tsunade? What about Hiashi? Hell, even _Kakashi_ would've been a better choice than... Than... Hatred bubbled past the surprise, the Uchiha's lips pursing with disgust as he narrowed his eyes. This man, this... monster... Was the one ruling this village now? Well then, it would make it so much easier to eliminate them. No one working under Danzõ's command deserved life.

When he spoke again it was low, threatening.

"I'm sorry, Danzõ?" he tried to make it sound amused, but there was still a lingering undertone of threat. "Did every other capable shinobi die, or something? Or..."

The black haired boy paused dramatically, mockingly trying to look in deep thought. But he had already figured it out, of course. Danzõ had been the man to steal Shisui's eye, after all. And by the scent he was enveloped in, it wasn't the only one. The mere thought of one of hi's relative's eyes being stuck in the body of that man was enough to make him grip the sheets in his hands a little tighter.

Soon, he promised himself. Soon I'll get to kill him. Once I am better there is nothing to stop me.

"Hm... Maybe... But no, that would be impossible, wouldn't it? Using someone's stolen eye to cast a slight genjutsu upon people who doesn't trust you. Because, if I recall correctly, no one in this village trusts him. Am I too far off the truth, Danzõ?"

His name was like poison on Sasuke's tongue. He had been one of the ones to suggest it to the Hokage. He had been one of those who'd convinced Itachi that it was the only way, the only solution. Sasuke's eyes prickled with tears.

"Is that what you have underneath those bandages, _lord Hokage_? The stolen eye of a fifteen year old boy, forever activated just to server your filthy purposes? A devoted, fully fledged shinobi Uchiha's eye in your mudblooded skull? _It's sickening_."

Because he knows. He knows what Itachi showed him, why things happened. 

_"I had to protect you. There was no other choice."_

He grips the sheets ever tighter, the giggles of a madman escaping his lips without his permission. He snorts and giggles until it's a fully blown laughter, one that echoes in his eardrums and makes his head hurt. He's so weak. So utterly useless. Nothing more than a blind, sick boy who wishes to revenge the people he loved. No, wait. Love. He still love them, even though it hurts. Why does it hurt so badly, after so many years?

Suddenly there's a warm flare of chakra, and steps that should be too heavy for any shinobi, and then there's arms around him, arms that are secure and kind and everything Sasuke's missed. He's tired, too tired to even care. He just leans into that warmth and cries.

He was no real Uchiha, was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HO HO HO, THAT WAS- Wait no he handled it kinda well? What the heck, Sasuke?!
> 
> And I basically just gave him the Inuzuka clan's scenting-ability? Huh? 
> 
> (Sorry to any and all muggleborns out there that might feel triggered by Sasuke's wording. *wonks*)


	7. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruno Sakura is not to mess with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOSH DIDDLY DARNED WINKY DINKY APPALAPPA SHING SHONG SINGALONG DEITIES, WHAT?
> 
> OVER 70 KUDOS???!
> 
> You guys are wild, Merlin's beard.
> 
> (ALSO I AM SO SORRY. I SUCK AT KEEPING A SCHEDULE. ALSO HECK MY LIFE THIS IS REALLY SHORT BUT Y'ALL ARE GETTING SOME ANGRY SAKURA SO YEA I HOPE THAT MAKES UP FOR IT ;-; This has been in my google docs for like, a year. *cringes lightly*)

This was not how it was supposed to _be_.

Sasuke breathed heavily against that horrid orange fabric, for once glad that he couldn't see the absolute _horse shit_ his former comrade was always wearing. He was crumbling. A proud, strong Uchiha, _crumbling_. This was humiliating. He wasn't worthy of his family name. He never was, and it... It hurt...! Fuck, he couldn't breathe, could he? Was he breathing? Was he even alive? Or was this just hell, some forsaken deity plaguing him for the sins he committed in his lifetime? 

A hot, way too hot hand was rubbing his back as his hearing swam around like one's sight might if he'd had one. The Uchiha -No, Outcast, he reminded himself- pressed his nose against the fabric and inhaled more of that tantalizingly wrong scent. Chakra was bristling in the air, but he didn't care.

"I'm here, right?" he mumbled, words muffled by the soft fabric. "I'm not somewhere else, am I?"

Who was he holding onto, again? Was it Mommy? Father? Itachi? 

Wait, no, they were gone... No more hugs and tomato soup... No more reassuring nods... No more Onii-chan healing bruises and making promises he couldn't keep. Sasuke's eyes stung. No, they were all dead. He killed them. He killed them by being so irreversibly weak. No matter how much he trained... No matter how much he tried: It would never be enough. 

A choked sob made it's way out of his throat as he laughed bitterly at his own mistakes. 

Failure. Failure, failure, failure. 

The pulse that steadied him to the ground quickened, and then the hold around him was tighter. He heard weak vibrations through their chest, something akin to speech, and he found himself confused when the person sounded angry. He narrowed his unseeing eyes.

Naruto?

"-if you just leave the room, my Lord."

 _God_ , Sasuke hated him so much. Damn it, Naruto, he could take care of himself. He could... He was strong. Strong enough to do that, at least. He was not a fucking weakling, for god's sake. He was Sasuke. Danzõ said something that made the bristling chakra around him even thicker with killing intent, and the blind teen clung to the jinchuuriki like a drowning man to a log.

"Get out." Sakura said suddenly, fire in her voice.

"Excuse me?" growled Danzõ, "Who do you think you are commanding?"

"I said _get out_. You are upsetting my patient. Rank doesn't matter when you're disturbing recovery."

 "I am the Hokage, girl, and you better be listening to-"  
  
Naruto froze. Sasuke froze, too. He subtly turned his head so his ear wasn't pressed against the dobe's chest, and very nearly held his breath.

"That's head surgical ninja for you, Lord Hokage." Sakura smiled, voice honeyed and laced with poison, "Now, get out of my patient's room. Or, even better, get out of my hospital before I _make you_ get out of my hospital."

No one said anything for a moment, and eventually Sasuke heard the telltale shuffeling of robes.

"V-very well. We will take this discussion at another date, once the clan head is feeling better. I apologize for my intrusion."

The new Hokage left as the teens breathe out. Sasuke listened to the pattering of sandals against the floor before he said, voice still heavy with tears, "Holy shit, Sakura."

"Well," she said, voice still poisonous, "some people like to stand up for their friends."

Sasuke bit his lip as she left, and didn't notice the blood seeping to the surface until the metallic tang filled his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is love?  
> Baby don't hurt me.  
> Don't hurt me!  
> No more...
> 
> *gets stabbed in the chest*
> 
> *dryly* what did I just say?

**Author's Note:**

> I SHALL CONTINUE IT


End file.
